Avoiding Necessary Confrontations

The word “confrontation” generally evokes the idea of a hostile encounter or an unpleasant discussion.  It seems to require that one or more of the participants must have caused offense or hurt feelings.  Even when the motive is pure, it is still called a confrontation.  At the least, a confrontation sounds like it would be uncomfortable, no matter how necessary it may be.  But sometimes there is no other way to settle a situation, much less settle it amicably.

So, I am proposing the creation of a new word, for a necessary, though uncomfortable discussion; a word that doesn’t carry the pre-supposition that either party has been offended.  I propose the word “comfort-ation.”  It will carry no negative implication, nor will it prejudge.  The circumstances under which this new word might be used include an introduction to intervention, to implore a loved one to take better care of them self, a loving plea to correct bad habits or an invitation to visit church. 

A comfort-ation begins with a reminder that your relationship is strong and your interest in them is genuine.  Much like Paul as he wrote to the Corinthian church, where he writes “I commend you for….”  Paul would continue by appealing to their sense of community; he started on common ground.  He presented his case for the truth, encouraged them to be strong in making a better choice, and then left things in God’s hands.   Finally, Paul would re-state his love and concern.

It has been said that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  In Paul’s case he had already bonded on some level with the people to whom he was bringing “comfort.”  So to use Paul’s approach, it seems best to choose someone we know; someone with whom we have a degree of familiarity.  Your love for this person should be genuine; your concern, selfless.  Never forget that the hope you share is eternal.  The peace of Jesus Christ real.  The comfort you intend to bring is everlasting.  These gifts are free to give and receive.  When you finish counting the cost, call a friend and have a comfort-ation.